Episode 415. #WisdomWednesdays: How to Handle Negative Feedback

While it is nice to think that doing our best always results in positive feedback, that is not always the case. The reality is, hard work does not save us from receiving negative criticism. Often, hearing even just one negative feedback can undermine all the recognition and compliments we’ve received. But as with other things, balance is key to handling criticism. Ultimately, it is up to us whether to use it as a force to motivate us or bring us down. In this episode, Rosie and Tessa talk about dealing with negative comments. They explain the impact of negative feedback and the reasons we feed off of it. They also discuss the importance of learning to weigh praises and criticisms. Furthermore, Rosie and Tessa share ways to handle negative feedback, and Rosie concludes the podcast with a short practice on reframing negativity! This episode is brought to you by: Pretty Litter Best Litter EVER! www.prettylitter.com use promo code loved to get 20%OFF your first order! Hello Fresh www.hellofresh.com/loved16 and use code: loved16 for up to 16 free meals, and 3 gifts! Download June's Journey Here: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.wooga.junes_journey_hidden_object_mystery_game&hl=en&gl=US Tune in and learn how to handle negative feedback without getting stuck in a rabbit hole! Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 1.Discover how negative comments obscure positive feedback. 2.Learn three ways to handle negative feedback. 3.Find out how EMDR works in dealing with negative triggers. Resources ●Episode 337: Achieve Peak Performance Through Hard Work And Mindfulness With Steven Kotler ●Episode 407: Creating Badass Habits For Success With Jen Sincero ●The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene ●The Work of Byron Katie ●Learn more about EMDR here! ●Stay updated on my upcoming book launch and 2022 international retreats by subscribing to the newsletter! ●Check out Rosie’s YouTube channel for the upcoming episodes of Wisdom Wednesday. ●We’d love to get a listener on board for #WisdomWednesdays! Send us an email at [email protected] with the subject “Wisdom Wednesday Guest” and tell us your name, where you’re from, how you heard of the podcast, your favorite episode, and what you’d like to discuss. ●Create a daily meditation ritual in just seven days! Download BUILD YOUR DAILY MEDITATION RITUAL and other freebies on the Radically Loved website! ●FREE Action Guide! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Sign up at RadicallyLoved.com, and I’ll send it right away! Episode Highlights On Conspiracies ●People often go into the well of misinformation because they get addicted to the serotonin of discovery. ●You become vulnerable to conspiracy theories when you’re seeking answers. ●It all comes down to the problem of discerning the truth. ●Being open creates more space for a bigger circle than being single-minded. The Impact of Negative Feedback ●Rosie recorded new yoga classes for an online platform. She went onto the platform to make sure she wouldn’t be repeating her existing class’s sequences. ●She discovered people’s feedback when she clicked on the previous class she taught on the platform. ●Most of the comments were good, but two said that the class wasn’t for them. ●Rosie ended up going through her past classes to look for negative comments, even when most of the feedback was positive. Weighing Both Praises and Criticisms ●Rosie couldn’t focus on the positive comments. All she could think of was the need to get people’s approval. ●It’s not your problem if somebody doesn’t like you. Don’t let people live rent-free in your life. ●Rosie let the negative comments live in her being for a week. ●Weigh your praise as much as you weigh your criticism. Blocking People on Social Media ●Rosie has experienced blocking or responding to people on social media because of inappropriate attacks. ●It’s hard to grapple with the feeling that somebody can intentionally say something to hurt you under social media’s veil. Going Down the Rabbit Hole of Negative Comments ●Searching for negativity is an instinctual self-preservation tool we have evolved over the years to keep us safe. ●It may also root from fear of rejection in terms of evolutionary survival. ●Knowing that the person is hurting you from their pain doesn't make their comments feel good. ●Weighing the positive and negative comments sometimes requires going down the rabbit hole. ●Tim Ferriss suggests putting positive feedback in a special box or folder to look at when you’re feeling down. 3 Ways to Handle Negative Feedback ●Ask clarifying questions instead of giving personal attacks any attention or energy. ●Allow yourself to process the emotions it brings up. ●Determine whether it’s constructive or destructive. Constructive is expansive; destructive is constricting. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) ●EMDR is one of the most effective therapies for people dealing with trauma. ●It’s a form of psychotherapy where the person gets asked to recall a distressing image, and then the therapist directs the patient in a type of bilateral stimulation. ●EMDR stimulations give disembodied memories a place to go. It reconnects all the synapses in the brain. ●Negative triggers can take us into the negative cycle and pathology of the mind. Putting Things in a Box ●Rosie’s therapist taught her to put things in a box energetically or mentally. ●You can either write negative comments and burn them, or do the opposite and create a positive comment box. ●You can ask five friends to say their five favorite things about you. ●Reading positive comments counteracts the negative spin we sometimes put ourselves in. How to Practice EMDR ●EMDR is like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping. It’s something you can do by yourself. ●It’s similar to stretching the opposite leg and opposite arm when doing yoga posture on all fours. ●The process causes a neurological reset. It balances the left and right hemispheres of the brain. ●A trigger takes you into a visceral cellular memory reaction. The EMDR creates a new pathway where positive feelings get attached to the trigger. ●The process is like connecting dots. It happens gradually in a non-linear way instead of going from 0 to 100. Being a Student and a Teacher ●Rosie is always looking for new ways of reframing old thought patterns and practicing self-inquiry. ●She loves learning and being a student. She also loves teaching the things she has learned. ●Learning something requires reading about it; knowing something requires writing about it. But mastering something requires teaching it. Reframing Negativity ●Pratipaksha Bhavana: “May we continue to reframe negativity and choose responses that are helpful and uplifting.” ●Tune in to the full episode for a short practice on reframing negativity! 5 Powerful Quotes [12:00]: “To go back to the human experience of what's that knee-jerk reaction that has this down the rabbit hole of looking for the out of the hundreds of positive comments that we get, what has us down the rabbit hole of searching out the negative one. And I think it's a very instinctual self-preservation tool that we have evolved with over the years to keep us safe. [14:07]: “When I get positive feedback — this is something I heard Tim Ferriss suggest — if it's like a physical piece of paper or card somebody wrote you, [put] it in a special drawer or box or folder so that you can look at it when you're feeling down and you need that little extra boost, that reminder that yeah, you're valued. [15:52]: (On negative criticisms): [Do] not give it the energy, just let it live on its own. Eventually, it'll die. [18:40]: “Constructive is expansive, and destructive is constricting.” [21:57]: “My therapist taught me to put things in a box. So you put it in the box energetically or mentally — however you want to do it — or you want to write down the negative comments, [...] you want to burn them up, go for it. Enjoy the Podcast? If you felt radically loved from listening to this podcast, subscribe and share it with the people you love! Love to give us five stars? If you do, we’d love a review from you. Help us reach more people and make them feel loved. Do you want to help other people learn how to receive negative criticisms? A simple way is to listen to the episode and share what you’ve learned today on social media. Don’t forget to follow and message us on these platforms! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosieacosta/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/rosieacosta Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/radicallylovedrosie TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsrosieacosta To feeling radically loved, Rosie