Helping our Kids Explore their Identity

Exploration is a prerequisite to having a settled identity. For parents with kids unsettled and exploring, this can be a frightening time. What role do we play in the exploration process? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter will help us sort it out. 

Show notes: 

Identity: 

• Is the sense of self – Who I am and who I am not.  

Identity Formation: 

• Starts with exploration and ends with commitment. 

• Exploration is trying, investigating, experiencing, researching. 

• Commitment is being settled, resolved and grounded. 

Identity Culture in “the west”: 

• It is constructed individually. This means that the community has a limited influence on placing an identity on an individual. Rather, the individual has the ownness of discovering and embracing their identity.  

Challenge: 

• Our young people are saddled with the task of sorting out their identity for themselves. 

Angst: 

• Watching young people explore their identity. 

Opportunity: 

• Support and guide exploration in community.  

• As possible, try not to rigidly force closure on those in the exploration phase. Rather, have dialogue that prompts healthy exploration. Thoughtful open-ended questions, and critical thinking prompts are necessary to guide wise investigation.  

• Have patience in the process with a goal to maintain relationship. 

Fear: 

• Suppose an unwise identity is chosen? 

• Remember: Where there is life, there is experience. Where there is experience, there is exploration. Where there is exploration, there is hope yet for a good commitment.