Last week ended, quite literally, on a blackout. Was Doug attacked? Did he simply pass out from lack of sleep, or the nasty smell that wafted from his office? THIS WEEK: Doug drags his wounded self to the the local island doctor, who has, let’s say, unconventional methods in treating his patients…

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“GODDAMMIT!” DR HUBBLE GROWLED. “WHAT’S GOING ON HERE!?”

Doug woke with a start. He had passed out again on the patient bed in the small consulting room of Sternum Island’s Health & Wellness Centre. The burly Dr Hubble stood over him. His bushy grey eyebrows were arched, one hand tugging on his voluminous white beard, the other hand jammed in the pocket of his doctor’s smock. Around his neck clung a stethoscope. And over that swung a pair of binoculars.

Dr Hubble was a keen birdwatcher, and had taken to integrating his hobby into his daily work. A large window in his office overlooked the little village, its surrounding forests, the harbor, and a foam-capped sea that opened up into the distance. If an interesting airborne specimen caught his eye, Dr Hubble would often drop what he was doing, rush to the window and peer out through his binoculars.

“I must’ve fallen asleep,” Doug slurred.

“It appears so,” replied Dr Hubble, giving Doug’s head a critical glance. “Lucky you haven’t gone into a coma.”

Hubble had been the island doctor for decades, and hadn’t changed much since he started. When Doug was a kid he always thought Hubble looked like a shabby shopping mall Santa Claus who had somehow grifted his way into the doctor racket.

Doug would catch a whiff of spirits whenever Hubble showed up. Maybe it’s the disinfectant, he would tell himself.

Doug was shirtless and cold. He reached up with his hand – still wrapped in the grimy bandana – and lightly touched the bruise on the side of his head.

Hubble grabbed Doug’s wrist and pulled it away. “Hey! No touching until I’ve finished,” he scolded.  “And after fixing your head, I’m gonna check that hand of yours… If you thought the bite was bad, that trench dressing’ll finish you off.”

Hubble found a dark glass bottle with a small handwritten label taped to it.

“This is something I whipped up at home,” Hubble told Doug. “A mixture of arnica and tea tree oils, plus a little secret sauce.”

The doctor daubed the pungent oil all around Doug’s head. The strong minty alcoholic aroma quickly filled up the consulting room. Doug felt nauseous.

“And does our intrepid Constable Sweetland have any thoughts about what might have happened?” Hubble asked, unable to hide his dislike of the law-keeper. Indeed, for as long as Doug could recall, Hubble had held an equal animosity for every police officer that had been stationed on Sternum.

“Not yet. He wants to interview me about it again. I literally have nothing to say. I just blacked out. I don’t know where this being attacked idea came from.”

“You never can tell these days. Things are changing. Island’s changing…”

Doug looked up at the wall in front of him as Hubble rambled on. Hanging there was an assortment of different colored t-shirts, each emblazoned with the text “Sternum Island Health & Wellness Centre” wrapped around a map of the island, which was surrounded by orcas, eagles and deer. A ragged piece of cardboard had “All sizes $35 inc. tax” written across it in black marker pen.

“You sell many of those t-shirts?”

“As you know, our market is pretty small. But it’s still nice to get that extra cash whenever. At least the tourists buy ‘em. Well, at least the ones who manage to drag themselves in here.”

Hubble finished bandaging up Doug’s bruise, then moved on to his hand.

“Goddamn,” Hubble muttered on unwrapping the bandage. “Did you disinfect this?”

The skin surrounding Ramses’s teeth marks had gone red.

“I didn’t really have any time,” Doug replied meekly.

Hubble scoffed, then daubed the bite with his pungent oil. Doug winced as Hubble bandaged his hand. The doctor tossed the bandana across the room, glaring at it with disdain as it plopped into a garbage can.

“Now, you call me if this one gets any worse. You have to check it regularly. Like at least a couple times a day. Let me know if it gets more painful. Or starts to look infected. Like pus, black stuff and whatever. Okay?”

Doug nodded and sat up. “Another thing. This morning, before the whole blacking out thing, I had a kind of waking dream.”

Hubble narrowed his eyes at Doug.

“There was a person in it telling me about the sea and forest and stuff being hungry or eating me...”

“Mmhmm,” Hubble’s eyes stayed narrow. “Go on…”

“And then, right before my blackout, I was reading something online, and it was word-for-word the same. Like my dream predicted…”

“Say no more,” Hubble interrupted, holding his finger up. “I’ll up you on the yellows by… uh… 25mg? Then we’ll see how things go, okay?”

“Right, okay…”

Hubble gave Doug a whack on the back and laughed.

Doug caught another whiff of disinfectant.

“You going to the meeting later?” Hubble asked as he pounded his sausage fingers on an old computer keyboard.

“Uh-huh, yep,” Doug nodded. “You seen the proposals?”

“Oh yeah. Those Golden Years guys are a bit more ambitious than what you’d peg on a bunch of hippies, right?” replied Hubble. “I don’t know. Maybe it’ll bring in some more cash to the island. But who knows?”

Hubble hit enter and his keyboard jumped. He rummaged around a desk drawer as his antique printer slowly came to life. “I’ve seen a number of patients from up there recently. Bought a lot of our t-shirts too.” Hubble seemed satisfied with that particularly. “Lemme tell you, they’re a real mixed bag up there,” Hubble continued rummaging in his desk. “Very polite and smiley, but it’s hard to get to know them. They’re really into martial arts of some kind. Judging by the number of injuries, these guys are serious about it.”

“What do you mean?” Doug crossed his arms to keep warm.

“Well, let’s just say there isn’t a muscle or ligament that these guys haven’t messed up. And the bruises? Yikes! Had to make a whole vat more of my secret sauce,” Hubble shone a light into each of Doug’s eyes. “No idea what they’re doing up there. But these are some weirdass hippies. I mean some of them need some serious pain killers just to walk straight. And I’ve probably seen a few dozen of these folks.”

“That many? No one else has seen them around, apart from you, I guess. Why haven’t we met them?”

“Well, I guess they keep to themselves,” Hubble as he returned to his desk, pounded his keyboard some more, hit enter as if it was a nail. “From what I can tell most of them get to Sternum on a private boat. Come off at Leek Point, then up the trail to Costo they go. Same with supplies. So they pretty much avoid us all here in the south. I’ve only ever done house calls with them.”

The printer finally cranked out a piece of paper. Hubble folded it in half and handed it to Doug. “Your meds, Dougy.”

“What’s it like up there?” asked Doug, crumpling the paper into his back pocket.

“I haven’t been to the retreat itself, just to the old halfway house. They’ve got a little camp set up there now. Didn’t want me up to the main retreat. Insurance or something like that.”

“So they’ve all been living in the halfway house?” asked Doug. “Like, dozens of them?”

“They’ve got lots tents set up around it. They only use the cabin for meditation meetings and stuff,” explained Hubble. “I sat in on a few. Real good, if you’re into that stuff. You know, I’d guess that Sharynne’s also met a lot of them. She gone to all the meditation meetings,” he continued.

“I had no idea Sharynne was involved with them,” replied Doug. “She never mentioned it, anyway. So actually, at least some people from Sternum have met them already.”

“I’d guess she fills their prescriptions at the pharmacy too,” Hubble stood up. “Okay, all done. You come in tomorrow for a follow-up. Call me if anything gets worse.”

Doug put on his shirt and sweater. “You think their project’ll get approved?” he asked Hubble.

“Stands a good chance, I think,” Hubble replied. “By the looks of it they have money. And they’ll spend it here. We need it. You know that.”

Doug nodded and glanced out the window. The wind had picked up and the trees opposite the health center rippled in the air.

“I’m gonna guess it’ll be unanimous tonight,” Hubble continued. “At least to take it to stage two. How can we say no?”

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