There is a trigger warning for this episode, please note the following conversation contains open discussion about domestic violence including emotional and physical abuse, sexual assault, disordered eating and self harm. This is a personal account of a lived experience of domestic abuse, this is not intended to serve as advice or facts.
If you have been affected by anything in this episode please read the following:
If you feel your life is in immediate danger please call 999 or Ask for ANI (Action Needed Immediately) at your local pharmacy.
If you are unsure whether your relationship may be abusive or you are in need of advice please take a look at the following organisations, linked below or call the Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Links:
Refuge https://www.refuge.org.uk/
Women’s Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Karma Nirvana https://karmanirvana.org.uk/
Further advice can be found on https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse-getting-help/.
For male listeners, you can contact Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010327 or search for ManKind Initiative (https://www.mankind.org.uk/) or Everyman Project (http://www.everymanproject.co.uk/).
If you have a friend or family member you suspect to be in an abusive relationship, the following advice has been given by Women’s Aid:
Listen to them, try to understand and take care not to blame them. Tell them that they are not alone and that there are many people in the same situation. Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse. Give time to talk, but don’t push them to go into too much detail. Acknowledge that it is a frightening and very difficult situation. Tell them that no one deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has told them. Nothing can justify the abuser’s behaviour. Allow them to make their own decisions. If so, offer to go with them to a hospital or to see her GP. Help to report the assault to the police if they choose to do so. Be ready to provide information on organisations that offer help to abused women and their children. Explore the available options with them. Tell them about Women’s Aid and how to access our website. Try to plan safe strategies for leaving an abusive relationship. Create boundaries of what is safe and what is not safe; don’t urge to follow any strategies that they express doubt about. Offer your friend the use of your address and/or telephone number to leave information and messages, and tell them you will look after an emergency bag, if they want this.
Look after yourself while you are supporting someone through such a difficult and emotional time. Ensure that you do not put yourself into a dangerous situation; for example, do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend or let yourself be seen by the abuser as a threat to their relationship.
HELPFUL LINKS:
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
www.refuge.org.uk
www.womensaid.org.uk
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk
southallblacksisters.org.uk (BAME)
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
www.karmanirvana.org.uk (Honour Based and Forced Marriage)
www.mensadviceline.org.uk
new.mankind.org.uk
www.everymanproject.co.uk
