Do you engage in the nasty habit of comparing yourself and your fertility journey to that of others? I will present a perspective on comparison that I bet you haven’t thought about and just may change your attitude about it FOR GOOD. Here’s to getting out of the conundrum of comparison.
Transcript:
Hey, gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you've got to have the mindset for it. It's time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I'm your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.
I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, bad assery, and loads of hell. Yes. For your fertility journey, it's time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let's do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 54, the Comparison Conundrum.
Hey loves, this week we are going to take on the topic of comparison. That dirty little, not so secret bullshit we engage in pretty much all the time in our lives, but never more insidiously than on this journey. Let's just be honest. We try not to do it, but we do it all the fucking time. You may be so good at comparing yourself to other people, you don't even notice it.
It may be like a reflex in you. And, strangely enough, you just walk around feeling like shit when you do. I say all this with the knowing of a person who would have gold medaled in comparison if it was an Olympic sport. Until I took control of my life by taking control of my thoughts and beliefs, I was absolutely mired in the comparison conundrum.
I call it that because when you are stuck in the nasty habit of comparison, you are faced with the conundrum of never really living your life. You live in a constant state of looking over your shoulder, waiting for someone to slither up and snatch your spot. You live in a constant state of deficit because nothing is ever enough.
Comparison is exhausting because the proverbial goalpost is always fucking moving. Someone is bound to get pregnant, get a newer car, buy a better house, and have a seemingly perfect life. When you live by comparison, you can never seem to catch a break. What's also interesting is how closely comparison is tied to perfectionism.
Ding, ding, ding! They go hand in hand. So, if you are a closet or out and proud perfectionist, chances are you're struggling with a demon named comparison. Those of us that are really good at comparison will tell ourselves the lie that comparison just keeps us on our toes or makes us better. Bullshit. When was the last time comparison was a legit win win for you?
When has comparison actually built up a healthy sense of self esteem in you? How about never? Built into the recipe of comparison is a ginormous amount of not enough. By definition, that does nothing for your sustained self esteem. It's also gross, because in comparing yourself, at some level, you're also sizing up and tearing down the person you are comparing yourself to.
Undoubtedly stewing over how they're less deserving than you, less qualified, or how they get all the breaks. Gross, gross, gross! Not long ago, I heard a quote from Ayanna Van Zandt that said comparison is an act of violence. Comparison is an act of violence. It was really moved by that statement because when you take a step back, it is a true and honest description of what we're doing.
The saddest part about it is that it's an act of violence that through our numbness to Or our unwillingness to release it, we readily condone. Through our complicity,
