In reflecting on her pregnancy and birth, Lauren Jones shares that it involved longing and fear. Being someone who enjoyed knowing all the things and being as prepared as possible, the uncertainty of pregnancy was a constant juggling act. She was used to doing things a certain way, and this time required a level of letting go and immense learning she could never have prepared for. She began to understand the environmental impact around her health, working with her gestational diabetes diagnosis and tapping into the new needs of her body. All lessons that beyond the birth of her son she is still carrying with her.
Lauren was 42 weeks and two days when labor began. Ending a day of running errands, she started feeling her body "stretching," — throwing her into a routine of letting her body move from bed to the tub, to couch over and over, following the lead of her body. Using Buddhist chants to keep her breath in rhythm to the movement until she and her husband decided it was best to head into the hospital.
Lauren knew she wanted to get some rest and asked for pain medication to support her sleep efforts upon arrival. Not expecting to sleep from 6 am - 6 pm and to be awoken by her care providers that it was likely time for her to begin pushing - which was confirmed from a cervical check that she was 10cm dilated. But Lauren describes that in those moments, she felt she had lost her sense of control. During labor at home, she thought she could be present for her experience, and waking up in this state of shock; she expressed feeling "really scared" and felt like she had to submit and change her birth plans. She consented to an epidural and began pushing. After some time had gone with no change in her son's descent and with him showing signs of stress, her care providers began discussing options to help support him earthside. Taking time to think it over, Lauren and her husband decided to move forward with vacuum assistance - but before her care providers could even get it on, Lauren pushed her son out, he was placed on her chest. At that moment, she describes feeling such a sense of peace.
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