Having recently podded in Crouchy’s house and a rather soulless local hotel, Peter, Tom and Chris relocate to the pub and immediately feel much better.

The identity of the Premier League players notorious for buttering up referees is uncovered, Crouchy reveals whether he would “take contact” to win the World Cup for England and the lads find out which basic laws of the game they are blissfully misinterpreting.

Meanwhile, the global search for a nice Karl with a ‘K’ continues with a number of promising leads.

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