Episode 412. #WisdomWednesdays: How To Respond When You Don’t Feel The Same Kind Of Love

Falling in love is undoubtedly one of the best feelings in the world. It makes our heart flutter and the butterflies in our stomachs dance in joy. No matter the age, love is something we all feel, may it be fleeting or long-term. But not all the people we love feel the same way for us and vice versa. Feelings don't always get reciprocated no matter how much we work on them. In this case, what is the proper response for the person on the receiving end of a love confession? In this episode, Rosie and Tessa talk about the overarching theme of love. They answer a question from a listener on how to respond to someone they don't feel the same way romantically. Furthermore, they talked about when to say "I love you." They highlight the importance of setting boundaries in avoiding asymmetrical relationships. Tessa then shares the details of her love story at the end of the podcast! This episode was brought to you by: Prose www.prose.com/loved for your FREE in-depth hair consultation and 15% OFF your supplements! SugarBreak Visit www.sugarbreak.com/rosie and use code ROSIE for 15% off your entire order! Oral Essentials Get 15% OFF your order by going to www.lumineuxhealth.com/loved Native Deo www.nativedeo.com/loved 20% OFF your first purchase Promo code: LOVED Are you stuck at the end of receiving a love confession from someone you don’t see the same way? Tune in and learn how to handle this situation with honesty and kindness! Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 1.Discover the power of manifestation. 2.Find out how soon is too soon to say “I love you.” 3.Learn an honest and kind way to respond to a person’s confession when you don’t feel the same way. Resources ●Episode: The Path To Finding Meaning With Sheri Salata ●Episode 324: What It Takes To Be In A Healthy Relationship With Torry Pendergrass ●The Beautiful No by Sheri Salata ●OkCupid: The Future of Dating 2020 Data ●Stay updated on my upcoming book launch and 2022 international retreats by subscribing to the newsletter! ●Check out Rosie’s YouTube channel for the upcoming episodes of Wisdom Wednesday. ●We’d love to get a listener on board for #WisdomWednesdays! Send us an email at [email protected] with the subject “Wisdom Wednesday Guest” and tell us your name, where you’re from, how you heard of the podcast, your favorite episode, and what you’d like to discuss. ●Create a daily meditation ritual in just seven days! Download BUILD YOUR DAILY MEDITATION RITUAL and other freebies on the Radically Loved website! ●FREE Action Guide! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Sign up at RadicallyLoved.com, and I’ll send it right away! Episode Highlights Early New Year Greeting ●All the episodes for this season are pre-recorded. ●Rosie’s book will be on sale starting the 22nd of January 2022. To Radically Loved’s Listeners ●2022 will be your year. ●Rosie reads every single listener email that comes into Radically Loved’s email. She’s grateful for the community’s continued support. ●Rosie started doing the podcast on her house’s dining table using an H4 Zoom recorder and headphones. She used to do interviews over the phone. ●The podcast has come a long way from its beginning in 2016. Tessa and Rosie’s Relationship ●Tessa and Rosie have known each other since 2015. Tessa was Rosie’s student. ●Tessa and Kristina Coco are the two people certified to teach Rosie’s 200-hour level teacher training. On Books and Manifestation ●Tessa can’t wait to get her hands on Rosie’s book. ●Talking about books always induces a cozy atmosphere. ●Rosie will be recording her audiobook in the second week of January. ●Writing a book seemed only a far-fetched dream for Rosie before. She will be recording an audiobook exactly ten years from that little seedling of thought. ●Manifestation works, and dreams do come true. You Can Do Anything ●We often look at other people who have something we want with a lens of curiosity and willingness to learn. ●If others have done it, you can do it too. ●This conversation stemmed from Rosie’s podcast interview with Sheri Salata. ●Tessa always thinks back to the four locks and keys in Yoga Sutra when talking about this topic. ●Comparison can either be a source of inspiration or something that can stop us in our tracks. How Soon is Too Soon to Say “I Love You” ●The main topic for this episode is the overarching theme of falling in love ●A question from a listener: How do you respond to someone wholeheartedly saying they love you when you don’t feel the same way romantically? ●OkCupid surveyed 6000 people on the question of how soon is too soon to say "I love you." ●62% think you should say it as soon as you feel it. 22% say you should wait several months, while 3% say you should wait at least a year. ●The typical range is about three months. How to Respond to a Confession When You Don’t Feel the Same Way ●Tessa has never had the situation happen to her. She thinks it’s best to approach it like a compliment and say thank you. ●Rosie has experienced this situation before. A friend confessed to her wanting to be in a romantic relationship, but she didn't feel the same way. ●That friend tried to push the idea to Rosie, even with Torry in the picture. She turned him down on several occasions and created space between them. ●A spiritual counselor asked Rosie if she was keeping that friend as a way of ego feeding. ●Rosie suggests being honest and creating a clear boundary. Creating an Asymmetrical Relationship ●It’s hard to maintain a deep friendship with someone in love with you. ●It’s a selfish endeavor not to create boundaries with someone you don’t feel the same way romantically. It creates an asymmetrical relationship. ●An asymmetrical friendship is when only one person gets the buck of energy fill. How to Come from a Place of Honesty and Kindness ●Laying down romantic feelings and the vulnerability that comes with it is a sensitive subject. ●It’s not easy to turn someone down in a way that remains kind and loving. ●Tessa: Have the other person clarify what they mean by their "I love you." Acknowledge it, give appreciation, and explain you don't feel the same kind of love. ●Rosie is more of the type to close the door immediately. She doesn't want to lead anybody on. Tessa’s Puppy Love Experience ●Tessa was in a long-term monogamous relationship for six years when she was 16. ●Her parents were worried about it and had a serious talk with her. Tune in to the full episode to hear more about her parents' reaction to her puppy love. Tessa’s Love Story ●Tessa and her current partner Jorge have been together for over a decade. They met in college in Oregon. ●Tessa swooned over aura when he served her and her friend at the restaurant he worked at. He was from Mexico and still had a thick accent when they first met. ●They ended up meeting on campus again and started seeing each other more often and going Salsa dancing together. But they were with other people at the time. ●Tessa found out he was living with his girlfriend’s parents at the time. They were his host family as an exchange student, so Tessa didn’t want to compromise. ●Jorge would say Tessa was just his English tutor, but his actions said otherwise. They eventually got together after the other people in the picture fell away. Love in a Long-Term Adult Relationship ●Tessa said they said "I love you" within the three to the six-month mark of their relationship. ●Energy and excitement always fill Tessa every time she retells their love story. ●Tessa realized over the years that she chose a good partner. They have had ups and downs, but she couldn’t pick a better partner. ●Rosie agrees that Tessa and Jorge complement each other very well. ●Meanwhile, Rosie shares her love story at length in her book. She says she must have done something right in the past life to deserve Torry. Powerful Quotes “I would do my best to say something along the lines of, I care a lot about you. You mean a lot to me. I don't feel ready to say ‘I love you’ yet, at least not in that the way that I think you mean it.” “I think there's a difference here. And this is very much under the umbrella of falling in love the difference between being an adult relationship and puppy love.” “If you're not corresponding, it's almost once the relationship crosses that threshold unless there are very, very clear boundaries, it's kind of hard to go back. And then at that point, subconsciously, the mind is just wanting to keep that person around, to sort of feed that part of you that likes that attention.”