No Hard Feelings: Your Complete Guide To Dealing With Emotions At Work with Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy

In this episode we discuss emotions at work. Do they have a place? What can you do about them? We look at why you should be less passionate about your job, we explore the science behind actually being motivated at work and prevent yourself from being burnt out, and we share a powerfully simple emotion management checklist you can start using right now with our guests Molly West Duffy and Liz Fosslien.

Liz Fosslien and Molly West Duffy are the co-authors of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotion at Work. Liz has run workshops for leaders at organizations such as Google, Facebook, Nike, and Stanford on how to create inclusive cultures. Her writing has appeared in CNN, The Economist, The Financial Times, and NPR.

Molly is an Organizational Designer at global innovation firm IDEO. Her writing has been featured in Fast Company, Quartz, Stanford Social Innovation Review, Entrepreneur, Quiet Rev, and other digital outlets, and she’s taught design courses at Stanford.Why you should be LESS passionate about your jobCaring too much about your job can actually be bad for your healthHow do we “take a chill pill” and distance ourselves from our work?The Power of Rest and Recovery and the diminishing returns of over workingCarve out time to think, carve out time to be alone, make time for friends and family What do people get wrong about motivating and inspiring themselves?Your emotions can create and sustain your motivationsWhat are the things that kill motivation?How to take back control of your work and deal with a tough or micro managing boss The “progress principle” - small incremental progress of small wins can snowball How do you build motivation at work? (And stop the things that kill your motivation) It’s biologically impossible to stop feeling emotion. You cannot make decisions without emotion. Is it possible that envy can be a productive emotion? Can envy help you make better decisionsCan anger and anxiety be productive tools to helping you achieve your goals?We walk through a great emotional management checklist that you can start to use right away to improve your decision making Discover your decision-making tendency - satisfiers and maximizers - what are the differences and why is that important?Run your thinking by another person - verbalizing them out loud forces you to synthesize information and identify biases in your thinking How do you create psychological safety? One easy strategy is to positively reinforce someone taking one of these risks. Use “generative language” to keep ideas flowing and open The concept of “task conflict” - we like each other, but we clash with each other over the CONTENT of our work Write your own “User Manual” or “How To Work With Me Guide” to give to your boss, coworkers, etc Your feelings aren’t factsWe often react and interact with each other based on assumptions that we never both to explore or look into at all The words we say are not always what we mean The 3 things to do if you have an issue with someoneLabel your feelingsUnderstand where those feelings are coming fromFeel calm enough to have a conversation about your emotions without getting emotional An in person request is more than thirty times more likely to be a yes than an emailed one What are some best practices for digital communication?Homework: Sit down and write down everything you’re feeling to develop your emotional granularity and self awareness. Take the time to reflect and think about what you’re feeling. Then identify the NEED behind those feelings.

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