This episode is about having a pattern of needing to be in a relationship and feeling like something is missing if you don’t have a person. Today’s caller, Lee, has a lot of awareness, but something is missing, and that is being able to access and release his anger. We work through how to release his anger, grieve his childhood, and step into his power.
If we grow up in a household with a lot of anger, we think all anger is that way. Yet, anger itself is not bad. It is what we do with anger that can be harmful to ourselves or others. Anger projected onto others through words, yelling, abuse, or violation is unhealthy and dark. Anger directed inward such as being hard on yourself, having a bad inner critic, or self-harming is also unhealthy anger. Yet, anger itself is a natural human emotion.
If we get our anger out in a safe way we show up more grounded and more present. We become calmer. Remember, we never want to direct our anger at someone and never inward onto ourselves. We want to get a pillow and let our anger out to allow the parts of us that are angry a chance to heal.
Releasing anger is an important way we become empowered. Often, what makes us needy is that we haven’t found our fierceness or our voice and we are always looking for somebody else to make us feel a certain way. But, when we can get our anger out and step into our power we stop looking to others to fill a void.